mood: depressed :(
song of the day: rainbow | southborder
current rave: wala

senti mode: ON
depressed state: initializing....
.....
.....
.....done.
status: sleep mode
....
....waiting...
....
....
....still couldn't climb out of this pit.
....wishing you could pull me up.
....but you're probably tired of doing that.
....coz you've been doing that since time immemorial.

....will wait til the time
....will stay here and wallow for the meantime
....will forget every hurt and pain
....will let myself be numb for a while...

*********************

fallin out fallin in
nothing's sure in this world no no
breaking down breaking in
never knowing what lies ahead
we can really never tell it all no no

say goodbye say hello
to a lover or friend
sometimes we could never understand
why some things begin with just love
we can never have it all
no no no ohh

but oh, cant you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
and so baby just smile
coz im always around you
and i'll make you see
how beautiful life is for you and me

take a little time baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds that sent to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to me

even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

[epal mode on: *sniff *sniff]

hittin high hittin low
win or lose you should go
yeah yeah
getting warm getting cold
weather can be so good or bad
but baby this is life so dont get mad
no no no

coz ohhh
can't you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
and so baby just smile
coz im always around you
and i'll make you see
how beautiful life is for you and me

take a little time baby
see the butterflie's colors
listen to the birds that sent to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to me

even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

life's full of challenges
not all the time we get what we want
but dont despair my dear
you'll take it each trial
and you'll make it through the storm
coz youre strong
my faith in you is clear
so i say once again
this world's beautiful
let us celebrate life that is so beautiful
so beautiful...

take a little time baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds that sent to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to me

even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

-- RAINBOW | South Border

*********************

ako,

...sana okay ka na...naiiyak ka na naman eh... you've been trying to smile the whole day pero wala lang... ambigat ng feeling no? ayan pakshet sinabing wag nang iiyak eh kagabi ka pa eh... pwede namang hindi umiyak ng kahit isang araw lang a! pwede ka namang lumusong na lang muna sa acads at magpakamanhid di ba? oo alam kong hindi ka na nga manhid pero ewan ko sa yo bahala ka nga sa sarili mo...

...ilagay mo na lang sa isip mo, lilipas din yan... matatapos din yang phase na yan... kumapit ka lang... kahit pakiramdam mo parang wala ka nang kinakapitan, kumapit ka na lang... kahit san basta hindi ka dapat bibitaw...

...tsaka kelangan, matibay ang loob mo... hindi ka na kasi makakapagprepare kung anuman ang mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw di ba? alam mo namang ang sarili mo lang ang unang-unang makakatulong sa yo di ba? isipin mo na lang na kahit nasasaktan ka ngayon, magiging okay din yan. matuto kang umintindi. matanda ka na di ba? tumanda ka nga ng isang taon na naman nung isang araw di ba?

...ano ba sinabi ko sa yo kanina? di na sabi ko wag ka nang iiyak? nauubos ang oras mo, nauubos ang lakas mo diyan sa iyak-iyak na yan eh... hindi ka naman ganyan dati di ba? hindi mo ba namimiss yung dating ikaw? yung bago ka tuluyang nagbago? di ba nasasaktan ka rin nun? pero di ba deadma ka lang? ano ba ang mas masakit? yung ngayon o yung dati?

...masakit nga siguro kapag lahat ng protective shells at defenses mo, tinanggal mo no? ano yun, sobrang vulnerable ka talaga? parang ngayon? anong nararamdaman mo? masakit ba? hindi mo na ba kaya? ano?

...alam mo, mabuti pa matulog ka na. umiyak ka kung gusto mo. buhay mo naman yan eh. ikaw may kagagawan kung bakit ka nasasaktan, kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan. kasalanan mo lahat yan. ginawa mo yan, panindigan mo...

...pero lagi mo lang isipin, mawawala rin lahat ng sakit na yan....matatapos din yang mga pag-iyak na yan... makakahinga ka rin... magiging masaya ka ulit... isipin mong ang lahat ng pagdurusa may kapalit na magandang bagay... kaya tama na tahan na tigil na... hindi ka pwedeng ganyan eh... finals week na... kelangan mo ng lakas para malagpasan mo tong linggong to... dapat kayanin mo...kahit sarili mo na lang muna ang sumuporta sa yo... kaya mo yan eh... malakas ka naman eh... hindi ka basta basta susuko di ba?...

...tahan na...matulog ka na...may pasok ka pa bukas...

ako