poetry, espionage and kajologan chuva

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

tita glow rocks!

watched first romance today.susmarya opening day pa talaga.pero sige na nga rin. in fairness ang gwapo talaga ni john prats aminin natin. pero olats lang at ang liit niya. miko palanca pa rin! ang kulit ni ate glow ang galing ng mga hirit niya... da best talaga...the one with john lloyd and bea is alright pero i was bored by then na eh...i just enjoyed john and heart's story siguro kasi nakakatawa talaga si tita glow pramis.:D


A L I A S

grabe ang astig pala nitong show na to. jennifer garner is so cool. i've read somewhere that she does her own stunts. what i can't believe though is 30 years old na daw siya! wow! she looks late 20ish or something. last night my interest in espionage stuff was rekindled hahaha. months have passed since i finished some of my mother's robert ludlum books... after that i moved on to jeffrey archer...tas biglang nagshift ako to mafia mode, even buying mario puzo's then latest release, yung OMERTA, tsaka yung THE FAMILY...tas i got a whole set of THE GODFATHER vcds pa on my birthday.... o di ba? gangster ang lola mo? :D and then come the advent of those fantasy chuva in my life and i find myself reading authors other than jk rowling lolz. in between the mafia stuff siguro i read TERRY GOODKIND's Sword of Truth series kaso nadeadend ako sa seventh book...wala pa rin kasi eh...tas ma'am joy lent me this trilogy by GUY GAVRIEL KAY....ang ganda! o di ba hooked sa fantasy chuva na...pero sadness pa rin kasi i can't seem to finish any of the Lord of the Rings books...kasi nnaman nakakapagod basahin eh...lolz...and two sems nang nasa kin yung Silmarillion ni Jeyel hindi pa rin ako nakakalagpas ng 10th page lolz...

owel back to ALIAS. i've DL-ed transcripts of alias and nasa 5th episode of season 1 pa lang ako lolz. sana may mahanap akong copies nun.:D and then CSI pa pala.:D hehehe sana may dvd player na kami lolz para i can borrow na those csi dvds from jemme.:D or pag naaddict talaga ko malamang ipakopya ko na lang kay krotone...di bale six cds lang naman daw eh..:D

owel dash it for tonight...

vampires.werewolves.lunch.meetings

***************************
approximately: 9am
i got off the cab that was to take my mother to the office. was supposed to go to that comelec thing but when i asked about the verification, sa november 3 pa daw yun. as in. buti na lang kasi there were so many people there. olats na talaga. well, anyway, after i asked one person there i left na. didn't bother to ask another. hehe nawala pagka-oc ko kanina a. oh well. might go to the barangay hall where i registered na lang before and ask what the heck to do para malinawan na ko. so there, i took the jeep and went to UP instead of "supposedly" waiting in line dun sa pinakamadaming tao na yun. ang haba ng pilaaaaaa! as in daig pa enrol(l)ment pramis.

***************************
approximately: 1230pm
nakisabit ako sa meeting ng steering committee ng ENERGIZED, erg's new project chuva. kanina ko nga lang naintindihan kung ano ba talaga yun. lol. smash, drive, groove and jam yung tagline.ah basta saka na lang yung details. baka mapagalitan pa ko si his majesty insane person (me talking to caloy: you shuddup you insane person you! behave there are visitors!) hehehe.walang gustong umako nung table tennis thing. sana naman wag akong ma-tempt magpakamartyr na naman at akuin yun di ba? pero pramis, kung may oras lang talaga ko...oh well...tas gusto ko rin sumali dun sa committee ni lea...hahaha pero well, kung aqua ba naman ang gawing color ng shirt ng steering comm eh malamang gusto ko na di ba? hay, sana makahanap ni caloyski ng isa pang co-head para hindi na lost ang table tennis event.

***************************
approximately: 315pm
we were making ikot in sm to kill time for the 440pm screening of U N D E R W O R L D. ma'am joy and lau wanted to watch that movie with the rock in it kasi saktong 315pm yung start eh elay wanted to watch underworld kasi sabi daw ni ate christine maganda daw. tas ako naman i wanted to watch the film kasi my siblings are raving about it and nikki told me it was quite good na din. the movie was good! as in super good! pero sobrang gross and gory! malala! lalo na yung start spoilerpagkamatay ni Victor na patagilid na pagslash ng uloend: spoiler hahaha bakit pa ba ko nagsospoiler thing eh halos lahat ng tao nakanood na...uh oh, hindi pala lahat ng tao...haha.
next section na lang...

***************************
UNDERWORLD
***************************


selene

she's the girl vampire who falls in love with the supposedly human but bitten by a wolf person. she looks really good in leather and with uncombed hair. go kate beckinsale. sabi nga ni elay, mas maganda daw siya sa gantong role kesa sa serendipity. lolz. astig yung pagtalon niya from the really high tower sa opening scene. another astig thing would be the mala-matrix thing she did dun sa isang lycan (werewolf) na nagtumbling sa ere ewan. and last but not the least, yung pagslash niya sa ulo ni viktor. lolz. gory sight. uh sight? you didn't see it, you, you, you coward moviegoer, you covered your eyes when elay told you to watch it hehe right, i wasn't able to see it kasi kadiri na. eh tong si ma'am joy sa kaliwa ko tas si elay sa kanan ko sobrang diring-diri na rin hahaha.



michael corvin

he's the supposedly pure human that was bitten by that wolf leader, lucian. anyway, here's the catch, there's this guy named CORVINUS, that survived some plague that others didn't. tapos he had 3 children. one was bitten by a bat, another was bitten by a wolf, and the last one is lolz wala lang. pure human ika nga. now, the one bitten by a bat natural vampire yun di ba? tas yung sa wolf naman, lycan, tas yung human, human pa rin. anyway, etong si michael direct descendant (direct ba?) something siya ni corvinus tas hinahunt siya ng mga LYCANS (werewolves) dahil sa isang mysterious reason....isa lang masasabi ko, in monster/abomination (for the lack of a term) gwapo pa rin si scott speedman.

lucian

this guy's the leader of the wolves. ano ba story niya? ah teka, siya yung parang asawa na nung anak ng isang vampire lord. that vampire lord is VIKTOR. anyway, so asawa niya si sonia (anak nga ni viktor) (my sis told me nakasal na daw, i'm not so sure though kasi hindi ko narinig kanina). tapos etong si viktor natakot dahil abomination daw ang magiging anak nitong si lucian at si sonia. somehow he (viktor) fears that ang hybrid nitong lycan at vampire ay isang super-strong being.eh teka mamaya na lang yung ginawa ni viktor. so yun....basta tas may deal pa tong si lucian with another vampire si KRAVEN...

kraven

siya kunyari yung parang oic nung vampire clan nila nung wala pang nagigising dun sa tatlong alternate na mga vampire lords (si cara nagsabi na vampire lords daw yung sila viktor). ewan ko kung may gusto ba talaga siya kay selene or gusto niya lang maging asawa yun para mataas posisyon or may kapit posisyon niya. pakshet, pati ba naman dito politika?! olats naman. anyway, he was greatly rewarded daw centuries ago when he supposedly killed LUCIAN. ayun eh may deal naman pala sila ni lucian na kunyari patay si lucian para tumaas posisyon nitong si kraven sa clan.nakalimutan ko na ano bargain ni lucian. yun atang panatilihing nakahibernate itong si viktor. tapos ano pa ba? ah, ayun. basta si kraven ang magrurule ng vampire clan tas may peace treaty something with the lycans. hahaha.

viktor

my gas, this old guy is the strongest vampire dun sa movie. sabi ni carabelles, siya daw yung pinakamalakas dun sa tatlong nakahibernate na mga vampire lords. pinatay niya anak niya dahil sa takot na abomination na daw yung nasa sinapupunan nito. lolz. so yun. tas may isang wento pa dito. nung 6 years old pa lang ata si selene, sobrang may nagmassacre daw sa pamilya niya. ang pagkakaalam niya lycans me gawa nun. tas kinagat siya ni viktor at ginawang bampira tas tinuring na parang anak kasi nga patay na si sonia the daughter. kaya gusto ni kraven si selene kasi malakas kapit ni selene kay viktor. ayun basta sobrang anlakas niya pakshet nakakadiri nga lang yung pagpatay sa kanya...and uhm, i repeat, hindi ko nga pala nakita yun kasi nakakadiri na....

hahaha yan lang muna...generally, nakakaaliw kasi astig yung transitions ng bawat scenes...ang galing talaga, tas yung camera ang galing ng shots...meron siguro mga pangit naman na aspects pero hindi ko na napansin kasi natuwa na ko nang malala. ang galing din nung mga lycans when they first invented that UV ray bullet. ang ganda pa ng kulay lolz. i still don't get it why werewolves are allergic to silver...(pinilit ko si cara mag-explain pero what's a high school kid can say kung hindi niya talaga alam.) hehehe...might wait for jake to come home to discuss na lang..hehe addict. ayoko kasi kausapin si demon eh.lolz. or baka mamaya na lang nagreresearch na ko about vampires. lolz.

ang galing din ng pagcast sobrang bagay yung mga tao sa role nila. except that one vampire royal guard or something na mukhang pinoy lolz! hehehe. astig talaga. tas kahit tanders na tong si victor sobrang ang dominating ng itsura niya as in sobrang aristocratic. pati yung mga nasa train na inassassinate na lang. sabi ko nga kanina "vampires are soooo cool!" hahaha. ang weird lang, why didn't the vampires turn ugly? yung blonde bimbo vampire na nagsasuck up kay kraven nagmukha lang catwoman? oh well, siguro nasanay lang ako sa buffy-ish vampires ehehe. pero astig when the vampires are in their vampirish mode hahaha nagbublue yung eyes! lupet! hehehe i forgot to mention na yung abomination thing that is michael corvin, nangyari siya kasi yung 3rd child nga ni corvinus pure blood di ba? walang kagat-kagat chuva...yung blood lang ni third child and all his direct descendants ang pedeng parang medium na nagpapamix ng blood ng vampire at ng lycan...and when that happens ewan na lang...sobrang maghahalo yung characteristics siguro ng wolf at vampire. kaya naman pala hindi total change yung nangyari sa kanya. guwapo pa rin in monster mode lolz.

anyway, dami pa ko naiisip tungkol dito eh pero malamang nakalimutan ko na naman. short term memory loss ika nga. and uh oh, i just remembered, we forgot to drop by that pet shop na sinasabi ni nikki na merong dory at nemo at gil! drat! grrr...oh well.... sige...next time...might go back to eee tomorrow to get the books from ma'am joy and baka andun din sila erika for the pics and the cd books na din.

sige yan muna.:D

quotable quotes namin
lau: ayokong maging werewolf, pagkatapos kasi nakahubo ka..
ma'am joy: bakit ba tayo nanood nitooooo? eeeeekkk?
ako: yaaaaackkk, yaaaaaackk, kadiri, kadiri, kadiri...
elay: grabe, ang guwapo pa rin...
ako ulit: vampires are soooo cool....gusto ko nang maging bampira!

bee 4.0 and others

bee happy day in a few minutes and uh oh, i thought i flunked coe 121 pero i got a 4.0 pa...sus...ano na naman kayang conditions eklat para ma3.0 ko na lang yung pesteng pahirap na subject na yan oo...hay...oh well...

tears, headache, trivia drat!

hay ang sakit ng ulo ko...haay..no ice cream yet pero i'm still craving...

wala na ko masabi..eto na lang song for the day...er...song for yesterday na pala..

It's Been A While
Staind


And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

COE 121

shet shet shet shet bagsak na ata talaga ako ng coe 121. blech.argh! hay kelangan ko ng ice cream! nededepress na naman ako.drat. kelangan ko talaga ng ice cream. been craving for that since yesterday. haaay...so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad...

time slept: 4am (partly because i was(am still) too depressed with coe121 and partly because ang sayang magtrivia game sa iRC)

time woke up: 130pm (which reminds me, i need to eat kahit papano...mamaya ko na lang popoblemahin yung ice cream...sana may dumaan na selecta (teneneeeen...teneneeeen...teneneneeen...) or i might go to the mini-stop thing sa may sakayan ng trike sa baler-west ave. aaargggh...sana may magmagadang-loob na magdala ng ice cream pero i doubt na makikita niya to hahaha...

current craving: ICE CREAM! grabe any flavor EXCEPT UBE! God, i hate UBE...blech...

song for the day: ala pa, kakagising ko pa lang...

mood: haaaay...depressed...

CURRENT WISHLIST:
a 3.0 in coe121 (this is very very impossible dude...)
a nike aqua shirt (someone told me may ma-cute daw na aqua shirts sa nike...shet ultimate fan ako ng nike eh)
ICE CREAM!!!
COKE! lotsa COKE! (go Ryan! go Ryan! Dala ka pa ulit nung mga tatluhang tig-2.0 liters woohoo!)
Cheese Bread
DeeGeeCam
Lakers SapinSapin Basketball sa tanging sports shop sa SM Carpark.
Ankle socks
Kain sa Aristocrat (Yung malakeeeeeeeeeeenggggg aristocrat sa roxas blvd.)
Spend one sunset dun sa manila bay....tas may camera dapat...
One day at the beach
Go to EK! pakshet hindi pa rin ako nakapunta sa EK
LoTR VCDs
Harry Potter VCDs
Jodie Brooke Wilson CD
Holly Palmer MP3


dash it for the meantime...i hafta eat na before i turn skinnier (is there such a word as skinnier? hehe) than ever...

PERFECT

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurst when you disapprove all doing

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
'Cuz you don't understand


--SIMPLE PLAN

I'M SORRY

Carlos, Chad, ALex, George, Coe 115 and EEE 53

YIPEE! TAPOS NA ANG SEM KO WOOHOO!!!

After quite a while, i'm really back, as in back na talaga. Darn, one whole week (uh, make that more than one whole week) was spent browsing through stupid microprocessor and dsp books, printing lots and lots of lecture slides, and reading those lots and lots of lecture slides. How pathetic can one ever get huh? Yesterday I took an exam without even reviewing or reading anything about the subject. Good thing that exam wasn't that hard and my little stock knowledge sufficed.

George Bush arrived today. As if I care. Well, I do, of course. Because of him, Elay almost missed the Finals in CoE 115. Because of him, I got home an hour after me and my labmates got out of UP. And may dala pa kong sasakyan niyan ha? When I get to bring the car, I get home in 15 minutes! Siyempre idol ko si Paul Walker eh. Fast and Furious din ako! Lolz. Anyway, enough of George. I just wish he'd go na para the people in this country can return to their normal lives.

Been addicted to Carlos Santana since yesterday. It started when I heard Lem's cd. Ang ganda ng selection. May Simple Plan (Addicted, Perfect), Santana with Chad Krueger (not sure about the spelling) (Why don't you and I?) and other songs. I borrowed it and burned a copy of that cd! And also, kanina ko lang nalaman na yung version pala na andun sa cd niya eh kay Chad K. I thought it was Alex from The Calling. Hoho. The one with Chad is better in my opinion.

CoE 115...I really, really hope i'll pass this subject. I did everything to pass that subject, including NOT sleeping ng isang gabi, just to pass those demonic machine problems. Gah! And I saw the results of our lab class earlier. Dami pala bumagsak sa min. The prof really gave zero to those who didn't submit their MP's on time. Geez. Guess I'll have to thank a lot of people when I pass this one.

CoE 121....DRAT! I don't.want.to.see.a.matlab.command.window.or.editor.again.

EEE 53....yesterday I thought I will surely pass this one. But then Jocris told me earlier (right before the coe115 finals) that the prof moved the passing grade to 45%! Oh Gas! My Long Exam Ave is 52.something. I guess that will do. But then again, there's this stupid classmate who apparently just copied some bitmap of the waveforms from somebody else's simulation and printed it out. How can you produce the correct output when your circuit is wrong?! how oh how? (and oh, hindi yun ang ginawa ko...pinasimulate ko yung akin no! tas saka ko pinasend waveforms! tsaka tama yung circuit schematic ko!)Now, the prof said that he will not grade those machine problems that doesn't have computations in them. Hello! That was supposed to be a simulation! Natural, hindi na ikocompute yung iba no! I just put in the waveforms! Drat! Now malala kapag bumagsak pa talaga ko!

Hmm...that's it for the meantime. Nikki's online na sa YM and she's into this stalking habit again haha!


Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies... and it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Seems like everything I say to you
Comes otu wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say 'why don't you and I get togehter and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never going to let me in
And slowly I begin to realize this is never going to end
Right about the same you walk by
And I say 'Oh here we go again'

When's thisever going to break?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down
If said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
-carlos santana feat chad k.

SKED FOREVER!

most important thing/s to do for the moment:

Study for COE115 Finals!!!


OCT 15 Wednesday COE121 FINALS! 2p-5p

OCT 17 Friday EEE53 Machine Problem DUE! ?

OCT 17 Friday EEE54 "Exam" 10-1130

OCT 18 Saturday COE115 FINALS! ewan ko pa

White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Sick Cycle Carousel

if shame had a face i think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes would you believe me
if i said i am tired of this now here we go one more time
i tried to climb your steps i tried to chase you down
i tried to see how low i could get down to the ground
i tried to earn my way i tried to change this mind
you better believe i tried to beat this
when will this end it goes on and on and over and over and over again
keep spinning around i know it won't stop till i step down from this for good
i never thought i'd end up here i never thought i'd be standing
where i am i guess i kind of thought it would be easier than this
i guess i was wrong now one more
time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle, yeah

Try This

TELEMARKETERS Unite Under MY Rule!!!! wahahaha!!! hilarious....i can just imagine kung sino-sino nasa rule ko....JOGS!!!! wohohohohoho!!! :D

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
Name:
You will conquer:	the Entire World, except Antartica (those Penguin Guerrillas prove impossible to dislodge).
Your title will be:	King/Queen
You will succeed by:	Cloning an army of Arnold Schwarzeneggers.
Your Enforcers will be:	Telemarketers (you are just THAT evil).
Your first act as ruler:	Impose World Peace.
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

FRIENDSTER Fever!!!

whopping 103 friends!!! woohoo!

and if forever's not enough for me to love you....i'd spend another lifetime baby, if you ask me to...

yehey galing galing talaga ni sarah geronimo!!!

all-time favorites:

i'm falling even more in love with you...
letting go of all i've held on to...
i'm standing here until you make me move...
i'm hanging by a moment here with you...

please don't say "i love you"
those words touch me much too deeply...
and baby my core trembles..
don't think you realized the effect you have on me...
...it just makes me wanna make you near me always....

pasingit: i really like jewel's old sound...nakakainis lang ngayon nag-pop eklavoo na siya...kakainis...dati astig yung mga acoustic thing niya eh...favorite ko pa naman siya...:(

...dreams last for so long...
even after you're gone...
i know that you love me and soon you will see...
you were meant for me and i was meant for you...

i'm falling even more in love with you...
letting go of all i've held on to...
i'm standing here until you make me move...
i'm hanging by a moment here with you...

...i need you baby...
and if it's quite alright, i need you baby
to warm the lonely nights
i love you baby
trust in me when i say okay...


wooohooo!!! sarap kumanta!!!

because of you
my life has changed
thank you for the love and the joy you bring
because of you
i feel no shame
i'll tell the world it's because of you..

olats mali-mali ata lyrics ko hahahaha!!!

at eto hahaha, alam ko jologs and all that pero kebs ba! :D

and i've got all that i need...
...right here in the passenger seat...
and i can't keep my eyes on the road...
knowing that she's inches from me...

i'm trying to forget that...
i'm addicted to you...



=#06B0F9

Thanks A Lot!

maraming salami dun sa gumawa ng anthro paper ko at sa nagdonate ng notes niya kasi open notes ang exam kanina!!! Wooohoooo!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!