[ ala lang ]

mood: [ groggy pa. kakagising ko pa lang eh ]
song of the day: [ lightning crashes | live ]
current rave: [ anything tolkien ]

got this from [ loryces' blog ].


You are a true fan of Lord of the Rings or all of
J.R.R Tolkiens works! You've read or your on
the process of reading all of his books! You've
even watched the movie too many times to
remember!! I congratulate you, you've become a
Tolkienite!


Do you know your Lord of the Rings?(knowledge)
brought to you by Quizilla

[ tpts ]

mood: tired slash bangag slash sleepy
song of the day: Ligaya | Eraserheads
current rave:

haha, i've found a new username haha; a few days back i joined the mailing list of the philippine tolkien society (note to self: kulitin si mam joy sumali na rin ng tpts) hehe. tas wala lang, last night (or mas tama atang during the wee hours this morning) naaddict ako sa mga elvish name chuvanelles. hehehe. at may magandang lumabas. and nikki no, hindi yung borin brickfoot hehehe although astig nga pakinggan. new handle ko po is Luthien_Elanesse (hehehe) and siya din yung ginagamit ko sa tpts forums hehehe. o di ba, ang cute :D tama na muna yang kilcher na yan. lahat na ata nakakakilala sa kin as kilcher eversince nagkaroon ng mass joining sa kings of chaos ang halos buong EEE hehehe. anyway, yun lang. magbabasa pa ko sa forums before i totally immerse myself in doing the dreaded RRL.

speaking of which, i've made up my mind na sa sunday ko na lang gagawin yun. bangenge pa ang utak ko ngayon and i just wanna relax for the meantime (and oh, by relax, i don't mean watch Kill Bill hehehe).

oh, wait i still have to look for an avatar pa pala hehehehe. naalala ko tuloy yung panahon addictus maximus kami sa PEx. :D kung ano anong avatar pa yung ginagawa namin hehehe

[ all about names ]

mood: groggy
song of the day: crazy for this girl | evan and jaron
current rave: middle earth name generators

while waiting for that stupid AVR studio (a whopping 26.3MB-file) to be downloaded to my antique pc, and while i'm on a break from studying, i had fun surfing for middle-earth names (or elvish at the least):

CHRISTIANA, CHRISTINA (f.) - fem. form of CHRISTIAN (q.v.), thus Laivine; or Elpinoine (see CHRISTIAN)


****


Ireth Elanesse

Eamane Elanesse

Luthien Elanesse --> i like this one the best!


barrowdowns name generator
The Barrow-Downs
Presents
The Middle-earth Name Generator

i tried one for my full name ayoko ng result hehehe
unwanted dark elf daw ako huhuhuhu.

eto for tina de guzman

According to the Red Book of Westmarch,
In Middle-earth, Tina De Guzman was a
Talkative Wood-Elf

>> hahahaha! talkative!

Elven Name Possibilities for Tina De Guzman
The root name suitable for feminine and masculine is:
Imbeannun
Another masculine version is:
Imbeannunion
More feminine versions are:
Imbeannuniel
Imbeannunien
Imbeannunwen

Hobbit lad name for Tina De Guzman
Fosco Grubb from Longbottom
Hobbit lass name for Tina De Guzman
Esmerelda Grubb from Longbottom

Dwarven Name for Tina De Guzman
Borin Brickboot
This name is for both genders.

Orkish Name for Tina De Guzman
Bazurk the Despoiler
This name is for both genders.

** NEW ** Adunaic name for Tina De Guzman ** NEW **
Minalsuzdai

========================

According to the Red Book of Westmarch,
In Middle-earth, maria christina de guzman was a
Stunning Eagle

>>haha astig! Stunning!!! lolz

Elven Name Possibilities for maria christina de guzman
The root name suitable for feminine and masculine is:
Maegaha
Another masculine version is:
Maegahaion
More feminine versions are:
Maegahaiel
Maegahaien
Maegahawen

Hobbit lad name for maria christina de guzman
Balbo Gardener from Hobbiton
Hobbit lass name for maria christina de guzman
Rosa Gardener from Hobbiton

Dwarven Name for maria christina de guzman
Vîm Iceear
This name is for both genders.

Orkish Name for maria christina de guzman
Baglok the Strongclaw
>>baglok?? whattaname!
This name is for both genders.

** NEW ** Adûnaic name for maria christina de guzman ** NEW **
Zadnuzan
=================

bad trip di pa rin tapos si AVR studio. gusto ko nang matulog.
memorize na lang ako dapat bukas.

[ ewan ko lang ha? ]

mood: surly slash happy slash tired slash bangagers
song of the day: i'm with you | avril lavigne
current rave: bob ong (sana magkapanahon akong basahin siya)

ewan ko lang kung anong gagawin ko ha? nakita ko na naman yang sched ko sa ibaba. kulang pa pala yan. hanggang sabado ng next week pa pala may exam kami. eh teka, kelan ba ang EEE days? di ba next week na? or next next week? baka next week na? eh ibig bang sabihin nun, hindi ako pwedeng mag EEE night kasi sa friday yung EEE night and may exam ako ng sabado ng umaga? aaaargh!!! and uh oh, sabi ko pa naman kay mam joy sasamahan ko siyang panoorin sila elay dun sa jma acoustic something. oh well.

isang napakalaking OH WELL.

ang tanong lang eh...kakayanin ko kaya tong sked na to? malamang di ba? kinaya ko the past sems di ba? sana lang i won't make a mess out of our RRL no. mejo panget kasi akong gumawa nang madalian (although minsan mas maayos pag nagigipit sa oras pero minsanan lang yun)...ahehehe...wala lang...sana...sana...sana.... sana magawa ko yun. i will have to trust myself... funny, wala talaga akong tiwala sa sarili ko. sometimes, naaamaze ako na kaya ko pala ang isang bagay na hindi ko alam na kaya ko. ah basta magulo. yun na yun. hala sige na. ilang gabi na rin akong [ acad mode ] pero wag ka parating online. bwiset kasi yang [ kings of chaos ] na yan eh. oh well.

OH WELL.

[ reality check ]

mood: tired
song of the day: torpedo | eheads
current rave: layout ng mga blog woohoO!

before i get too enthusiastic in layout editing na naman, may i be reminded that my sked for the two coming weeks is:

tuesday. jan27
[ cel meeting with doc m ]

wednesday. jan28
carabelle's hababerday
[ ece 197h homework! (oh no! mignon! heeeeelp!!!) ]

thursday. jan29
[ ece 113 second long exam ]
[ to go to the progress meeting or not? ]
[ hellow? pwede ba tumanggi dun?! ]
[ prolly OVERNIGHT! wala nang oras para umuwi ]

friday. jan30
[ ece 121 first long exam ]
[ start my part sa rrl ]

saturday. jan31
[ live aids ]
[ prolly do something in the day bring my readings and stuff ]

sunday. feb1
[ i have to come up with my part in my group's RRL ]
[ damn! ]

monday. feb2
[ meeting with elai and toots re: outlining of the narrrative RRL ]
[ prolly resolder 113 die kasi uminit kanina ]
[ uh oh, may cel meeting pa pala pakshet ]
[ malamang gumawa ng 141 sa gabi (oh no! pano na rrl?) ]

tuesday. feb3
[ ece 141 problem set!!! ]
[ karirin ang RRL sa gabi ]

wednesday. feb4
[ deadline ng rrl ]

haaay, QUE HORROR!

[ HIGH SCHOOL LIFE 101 ]

VERSION 2.0

HIGH SCHOOL: QUEZON CITY SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL
BATCH GRADUATED: 1999

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag
ceremony?
>> MABAGAL KASI KAMI MAGSIBABAAN
>> NUNG FIRST YEAR KASI SOBRANG LATE NG SERVICE NAMIN

2. Anong favorite mong bilhin sa canteen?
>> KUNG ANU-ANO, PERO WINNER YUNG EVERY LUNCH BIBILI KAMI NI TOILETTE NG LUCKY ME! NA NO COOK TAS HATI KAMI SA BAYAD PERO SA KIN YUNG NOODLES AT SA KANYA YUNG SABAW. O DI BA, FAIR? HEHEHEHE

3. Na-guidance/principal's office ka na ba?
>> WALA NAMAN. HEHE MABAIT AKO NUNG HIGH SCHOOL EH.

4. Sinong favorite teacher mo doon?
>> SI PARENG HOPE. WALA LANG. RELAXED SA ELECTRONICS KUNO CLASS NIYA (KAHIT NA MEJO MINSAN AKO LANG GUMAGAWA SA GROUP LOLZ)
>> SI TATA MADZ. KASI NATUWA AKO SA DRAFTING CLASSES NIYA PATI SA WOODWORKING. ENJOY AKO SA WOODWORKING EH. GINAWA PA KONG TOOLKEEPER, EH DI YUNG MGA MAGAGANDANG GAMIT NAPUPUNTA SA GROUP KO LOLZ.
>> SI SIR CHUA WITH HIS LIFE SIZE TRIANGLES AND PROTRACTORS
>> SI MISS DIGNA PANINGBATAN. ADVISER KO NUNG FIRST YEAR. DA BEST TO!

5. Sinong HATEST teacher mo naman?
>> MINA. ER, NITONG COLLEGE I REALIZED DAMI PALA NIYANG NACONTRIBUTE SA PAGKATUTO KO NG CHEM LOLZ
>> VALENTIN. GAGONG TEACHER YUN. KALA MO KUNG SINONG MALINIS.
>> GIRON. PESTE YANG DAMOLOGY NA YAN. PESTE YANG NOTEBOOK NA YAN.
>> HILARIO. PINOY. IMPERSONASYON. EL FILI. 'NUFF SAID.

6. San ka usually tumatambay? Why?
>> SA CLINIC TOGETHER WITH KACY AND THE TEAMMATES.
>> SA HIDEOUT NI PARENG HOPE WITH NIKKI AND THE TEAMMATES.
>> SA SECOND FLOOR NG SCI-TECH BUILDING NAGMUMUNI-MUNI.
>> SA LEDGES. MAHILIG AKO SA MGA LEDGE.

7. What's ur most unforgettable experience sa
high school mo?
>> MADAMI. HINDI KO NA MAISA-ISA. SIGURO KASAMA NA DUN YUNG CATAI. ANG WEIRD EH. SOBRANG ITIM NAMIN PERO SULIT NAMAN YUNG ISANG LINGGONG GIGISING NG 5AM TAS NASA UP NG 6AM TAS BUONG UMAGA KANG NAKABILAD.

8. clubs? varsity?
>> CLUBS --> SCIENCE CLUB, COMPUTER CLUB, HI-Y, SPORTS CLUB.
>> VARSITY --> (1ST YEAR) VOLLEYBALL; (2ND YEAR) WALA; (3RD YEAR) VOLLEYBALL; (4TH YEAR) VOLLEYBALL, BASKETBALL, TABLE TENNIS

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa high school?
>> SOMEONE FROM DARWIN. NOT SURE IF IT WAS MAUREEN. HINDI NAMAN KAMI NAGING CLOSE HEHE. SIYA LANG YUNG UNA KONG NAKAUSAP SA UNANG ASSEMBLY. YUNG UNA KONG NAKAKILALA TALAGA SI DALUPANG. SABAY KASI KAMI NALIPAT FROM CURIE TO PILOT-B (OO USO PA PILOT PILOT NUN)

10. Sinong mga kabarkada mo nung nag-graduate
ka from HS? lahat ba sila'y nasa friendster
>> SILA BLOSS, GOLDS, MOMMYKREN, TITA ROSA, JULIE GULAY, TIFFANY NERISSA, JOF, MONAKIEL, ETC.
>> MOST OF THEM NASA FRIENDSTER

11. Na-mimiss mo na ba yung uniform mo?
>> HMM...SORTA-KINDA-SLIGHT

12. Ilang beses mo nang nawawala ung ID mo?
>> ISANG BESES LANG. NAWALA SILANG APAT RIGHT AFTER GRADUATION. MAY ISANG GWAKANANGTOOT NA NAGNENOK NG WALLET KO BWISET.

13. Favorite teacher's quotable quote?
"WAG KAYONG MAG-AWAY-AWAY. FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST" - MS. MEJIA, HABANG NANG-AAWAT NG MGA NAG-AAWAY NA STUDENTS.

"PARAHKH'NG T'NGA"-MS. HILARIO, PINOY 4 TEACHER

"KLAAAASEEEEE, ANN-NO ANG PANITIKAAAAAAAAAAN?"
"MAUPO KA NA LANG DIYAAN AT GAWINITOSAPINAKAMABILISNAPARAAN!!!!"
- MRS. DORIS MORENO, PINOY 1 AND 3 TEACHER

"UHHHH, SA INYO'S, UHHH, ISANGUHHHH MAGANDANG, UHHHHH, UMAGA."
"PEEEPLE AT THE BAAAAAAAACKKKK, WOULDYOUPLEASEGETYOUR MAAAAP"
"CLAA-AAAASSS, I'M HEE-EEEREE.."
- MISS CARMEN RAMIREZ, AP 1 TEACHER

"....GET IT?.....GET IT?"
"...AS THE CASE MAY BE..."
"....AWTS..."
"....WAAHHHTER..."
- MISS LORNA MINA, CHEM TEACHER

"LUUUUUUUUUUUVVV."
"SUNDEE,MONDEE,TUESDEE,WEDNESDEE,THURSDEE,FRIDEE,SATURDEE"
- MISS NENA SY BONGON, ENGLISH 4 TEACHER

"KAYA HINDI UMUUNLAD ANG PILIPINAS, EH SA LOOB PA LANG NG CLASSROOM AY MUKHANG BASURAHAN."
"SARKRIPICE DIN YUN ON OUR FART."
"...FRINCE OF EGYFT."
- MR. JOEL SEMANA, AP 4 ANG FAVORITONG VARAHIN NI ELAY

"YUSYURHED, PIPOL, YUSYURHED..!"
"AYSUS, KAMOTE!"
"SIGE, MR. NICOLAS, GAWIN MO PANG POPCORN!"
"GEDDEMIT,KEDET"
- TATA MADZ, CAT COMMANDANT


"STOP MARMARING OBER DER..."
[SA FLAG CEREMONY TO, TAS BIGLANG TUMAHIMIK SANDALI ANG LAHAT TAS SABAY TAWA NANG SOBRANG LAKAS. HAHA MARMARING DAW O!]
"YOU! YOU! YOU! BOTH THE THREE OF YOU! GO TO MY OFFICE TOMORROW RIGHT NOW!!!"
"THE DIVISION AHFIS BARND DOWN."
"ALL LATE-COMERS, PROCEED TO THE LAYBREREE..."
"WHERE ARE ABO-GADRO AND BEKERER?"
"WE ARE GIVING CONSIDERATION TO THE LATE-COMERS BECAUSE OF THE TRAFFIC ALONG SCIENTIAN ROAD CAUSED BY THE TRAYSIKOLS."
"EVERYBODY TO THE QUADRANGOL RIGHT NOW!"
"ALL STUDENTS FORM YOUR LINE FOR THE FLAG SE-RE-MO-NI..."
- MS ROSARIO MALLARI (OVER THE P.A.)--> ANG DAKILANG KOKAK NA ASST PRINCIPAL NG QUESCI

14. Most unforgettable person? Why?
>> BLOSS, NIKKI, ARLO, RYAN B., BJ (APPARENTLY CRUSH KO SIYA NUNG 1ST YEAR AKO), ANDMORE!

15. Kelan sa tingin mo dadating ang yearbook?
>> DUMATING NA DATI PA!

16. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic.
>> JOLOGS! JOLOGS! JOLOGS!

17. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
>> HAPPY MEAL SA MCDO LALO NA NUNG TIME NG SNOOPY NAGSAWA TALAGA AKO SA HAPPY MEAL.

18. Nakakita ka na ba ng multo sa school?
>> HMM HINDI NAMAN PERO MAY WEIRD URGE KAMI DATI TO GO GHOSTHUNTING WHEN KUYA MICHAEL (SERVICE NUNG FIRST YEAR) WASN'T AROUND YET.

19. Nangarag ka ba sa updating/paghahabol sa
graduation?
>> SURPRISINGLY, HINDI. PERO BALITA KO YUNG BECQ NUN HINARASS NI MAM MINA DAHIL SA ISANG NAWAWALANG ELECTRIC FAN, I MEAN COME ON, SINO MAKAKAPAGLABAS NG ELECTRIC FAN SA QUESCI? HAHA

20. Anung unang-una mong ginawa ryt after
graduation?
>> LUMAFANG AHAHA.

21. Anong contests ang sinalihan/napanalunan
mo?
>> POSTER MAKING CONTEST CHUVANELLES. PERO MOST OF THE TIME HEHE PINEPESTE KO SI TOILETTE NA SIYA NA LANG SUMALI.
>> CATAI! HEHEHE BEST IN FIRST AID KUNO EH PAKSHET ANG INARAL KO AY COMPRE, NAGMEMORIZE AKO SA MAPREADING, KINAREER KO ANG PAGPAPAPRAKTIS SA ASSEMBLY/DISASSEMBLY NG M-16. HAHAHA AT SA FIRST AID AKO NAPUNTA LOLZ.

22. Kamusta naman ang Intrams?
INTRAMS?
>> INTERSECTION. (1) MASAYA KAMI NUN SA PILOT-B KASI NAG-IPON LAHAT NG MALAKAS SA VBALL SA MIN. NAJAN AKO, SI BLOSS, SI RINA MENDOUGH, SI AIREEN, SI SHASHA, SI GOLDINE, ETC ETC.
(2) WALA TALO KAMI SA AVO. NAGSILIPATAN NA SILANG LAHAT SA AVO EH.
(3) MASAYA PA RIN, AVO NA KO NANALO NA NAMAN KAMI SA VBALL.
(4) WALA NANG CHALLENGE HEHE (YABANG!)
>>INTERZONE. EWAN KO LANG HA. WALA LANG. PERO MASAYANG MAGING TEAMMATE SILA SIMONE, SILA SITTIE, AT YUNG IBA PA. NAKAKAINIS NGA LANG NUNG BBALL MAY TEAMMATE AKO NA SIYA ANG MAY DALA NG BOLA SINUSUNDAN PA NIYA YUNG NAGBABANTAY SA KANYA (DI BA, NIKKI?) AT BWISET TONG SI NIKKI AT BENG, PINAGTULUNGAN NILA AKO HEHE.

23. How about yung JS Prom?
>> MASAYA MGA JS PROM NAMIN.
GWARDIYADO AKO NANG AYOKO NAMAN DAPAT. SI TOJUA HINDI AKO SINAKLOLOHAN. UMEMBENTO PA TULOY AKO NG PALUSOT PARA MAKAALIS HEHE. PERO MASAYA NAMAN.
ETO MASAYA TO. ASTIG YUNG SOUNDS. MAY FIRESTARTER PA HEHEHE. KAHIT SA JOLOGS NA BAHAY NG ALUMNI LANG, OKAY NA. DAMING NANGYARI. MASAYA. WEIRDO. A BASTA.

24. Favorite Janitor/Janitress?
>> SI MANONG JUN BA YUN. BASTA NAKALARO KO SIYA NG TABLE TENNIS EH.

25. Kung papalitan ang color ng uniform natin,
anong kulay? Baket?
>> OKAY LANG. SABI NGA NI CESAI SA POST NIYA, KONTI LANG NAMAN YUNG KURTINANG GANUN ANG KULAY EH HEHEHE.

26. Nasa friendster mo ba yung crush mo sa
HS mo dati? Eh yung kinagagalitan mo to the
nth level?
>> ACCORDING TO NIKKI, BASTOS TONG TANONG NA TO. SAGUTIN KO NA. LAHAT ATA NG CRUSH KO DATI NASA FRIENDSTER. AND KINAGAGALITAN TO THE NTH LEVEL? HINDI NAMAN. KINAASARAN LANG SIGURO. AND YEP, NASA FRIENDSTER SILA.

27. Did you ever regret going to ur HS?
>> WHILE IN HS, I WAS BLAMING MY MOTHER FOR MAKING ME SUFFER THERE. PAGDATING NG COLLEGE, LAKING PASALAMAT KONG DUN AKO NAG-ARAL. ASIDE FROM THE AMAZING PEOPLE THAT I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW, HINDI KO MATATAWARAN ANG MGA EXPERIENCES KO SA QUESCI.

28. Kilala mo ba kung sino ang nag-post nito at
sino siya sa school?
>> MERON NA KONG POST NITO DITO PERO INULIT KO LANG KASI SABI NI LOWLA TJ MAS MARAMI DAW TONG TANONG.

29. Sino sa mga ka-batch natin ang dapat
napasali sa STARSTRUCK
>> STARSTRUCK--> PWEDE NA SI JENNY GADDI.MARUNONG NAMAN SIYANG SUMAYAW EH. SI SIMONE DIN PWEDE, MAGANDA NAMAN BOSES NUN.

30. San ka na nag-aaral ngayon? Course?
>> UPDIL-ENGG. BS ECE.

31. Sino ang favorite love team of dem all mo?
>> HMM SINO NGA BA? HEHE WALA AKONG MAALALA EH.

32. Anu-ano ang mga section mo?
>> (1) PILOT-1-B (2) BECQUEREL-2 (3) AVOGADRO-3 (4) AVOGADRO-4

33. Anong da best about your batch?
>> HEHEHE EWAN KO. DABEST CLASS KO (AVO-4 BATCH 99) KASI 100% KAMING PUMASA NG UPCAT. HEHEHE YABANG!

34. nickname in high school?
>> TEANUTS

35. sport you were into?
>> VOLLEYBALL, BASKETBALL, TABLE TENNIS
>> NAGBASEBALL KAMI NUNG FIRST YEAR, TAS SOCCER NUNG SECOND YEAR.
>> HINDI NA NGA AKO PUMAPASOK EH HEHEHE MAKAPAGTRAIN LANG. LOLZ.

36. had a barkada? how many were you?
>> YEP. NOT SURE ABOUT THE NUMBER.

37. best subject?
>> TECHNICAL RESEARCH AND COMPUTER.
>> SUBJECTS NA ITO: DRAFTING, WOODWORKING AND BASIC ELECTRONICS

38. worst subject?
>> ARALING PANLIPUNAN LOLZ (BWISET YANG SI CARMEN).

39. A teacher you owe life lessons to?
>> SI MISS DIGNA PANINGBATAN. SHE TRIED KNOCKING SOME SENSE INTO MY HEAD WHEN MY MOM TOLD HER I WAS CUTTING MYSELF. BAIT TONG TEACHER NA TO. SIKAT PA. MAY COMMERCIAL NA NGA SIYA EH HEHEHE.

40. a teacher you wanna kick in the ass?
>> SI HILARIO. BWISET. PAKIALAM NIYA BA KUNG GUSTO KO SA BECQUEREL AKO TUMAMBAY?! O EH ANO KUNG MAS GUSTO KO DUN PAG BREAKTIME?! PAKIALAMERA!

Describe In One Word

41. freshman year: ADVENTURE. (ADVENTURE MAGBUILD NG MGA GROUPS GROUPS, MAY SQUARE ALMAGEST PA KAMI NUN NA ANG INITIATION AY ARM WRESTLING WITH KAREN HEHE)

42. sophomore year: TRIP. (MUNTIKAN NA KONG MANTRIP NA SAGUTIN ANG LALAKING AYAW KO NAMAN, EWAN KO, JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT SIGURO)

43. junior year: KATANGAHAN (TANGA AKO OO ALAM KO EHEHE. ANG ARTE PA KASI AYAN NAWALA TULOY)

44. senior year: CHAOTIC (HEHEHE NIKKI KNOWS ALL THE REASONS WHY MY SENIOR YEAR IS CHAOTIC, NAJAN NA MAG-3-VARSITY DAHIL SA KAEKEKAN. NAJAN NA MAPILAYAN PARATI. NAJAN NA LAHAT. FULLY DOCUMENTED SA AKING FILLERS.)

45. your best friend was?
SORTA-KINDA BEST BUD--> BLOSS
WALKING DIARY--> NIKKI
CLOSEST CLASSMATE-->TOILETTE MAE

46. your worst friend was?
>> WALA NAMAN. (ER...NAGPIPIGIL AKO BAKA MAY MABANGGIT AKONG DI KANAIS-NAIS HEHE)

47. cafeteria food sucked?
>> OH YES! (IN A MAM GEV ACCENT)

48. most hilarious school rule?
>> MADAMI DAMI NA. HINDI KO NA NGA LANG MAALALA NGAYON LOLZ.

49. wore uniforms?
>> YEP.'NUFF SAID.

50. how was the prom?
>> ANG KULIT BAKIT PAULIT-ULIT TO? OO MASAYA ANG MGA PROM!

51. who was prom king and queen?
>> (3RD) I THINK SOMEONE FROM THE SENIOR YEAR YUNG KING TAS SI JENNY GADDI YUNG QUEEN
>> (4TH) BIMBO MARIANO AND CARMELA NIERVA. THEY WERE THE ROWDIEST PAIR NUNG PROM HEHEHE.

52. any achievements?
>> WALA.HEHEHE CATAI BEST IN FIRST AID SIGURO LOLZ.

53. were you popular?
>> NOT REALLY HEHE.

54. best song that reminds you of high school?
>> WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, TO THE ONE I LOVE, LINGER, EVERYTIME I SEE YOU, HOLLYWOOD,FREE TO DECIDE (PASTEL TULIPS COVERS)
>> WINTERSPRINGSUMMERORFALL SONG, GOODBYE GIRL, EHEADS SONGS ETC.
>> SA BAWAT PAG-IKOT NG ATING BUHAY

55. unforgettable high school crush?
>> UNFORGETTABLE? HEHEHE, SILA BJ (SPEEDBALL) AT RYAN (KOBE) SIGURO HEHE.
>> AT SIGE NA ISAMA NA NGA SI PEBBLES (MAG-ISIP NGAYON KAYO KUNG SINO SI PEBBLES) HAHAHA

56. most embarrassing moment?
>> NUNG 2ND YEAR SIGURO PAKSHET YUNG MGA KAKLASE KO HINABOL AKO PARA SA ISANG BOOTH NUNG FAIR. ANG CATCH, KASAMA KO SI BJ SA ISANG TENT FOR A FEW MINUTES. POTEK TALAGANG TUMAKBO AKO NUN.

57. memory you'd like to forget about high school?
>> [SHHHH...NIKKI ALAM MO TO]...

58. best memory?
>> OVERNIGHT IN BLOSS' HOUSE DOING NOTHING. MINSAN PALA PRACTICING FOR THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS
>> SUMMER TRAINING OF 97 (TAMA BA?) NG VBALL TEAM. IT WAS VERY MEMORABLE. NAJAN NA MGA TAGA-RONDON, TAGA HOLY FAM. TAGA CIRCLE. LAHAT NA! (VBALL TEAM NGA PALA NUN (1)TOOTSIE (2)ARLO (3)SHASHA (4)AKO (5)SIMONE (6)KACY (7)LYKA? (8)BENG (9)VALERIE (10) BLOSS. HEHE NAALALA KO PA.
>> INTERSCHOOL KUNG SAN SI NIKKI AY HINARASS NG MGA MALILIIT NA FRESHMEN FROM RONDON HEHEHE
>> FAIR.
>> GRADUATION.
>> MASS BEFORE GRAD. NAG-IYAKAN SILANG LAHAT HABANG SI LANI AY KUMAKANTA NG "SA BAWAT PAG-IKOT NG ATING BUHAY". TAS AKO WALA LANG. HEHEHE
>> NUNG UMIYAK SI BLOSS KASI HINIHILA SIYA SI KIETLY PAPUNTA SA ISANG CLOWN.
>> MCDO MOMENTS WITH BLOSS RIGHT AFTER CLASS.
>> FIRST FRIDAY MASSES WITH BLOSS, KASAMA SI JERSEY (HEHEHE)
>> A&W MOMENTS WITH THE REST OF THE GANG.
>> WHEN I SAW THE RESULTS OF THE UPCAT TAS BINAGSAK KO PERIO SA CHEM AFTER KNOWING THAT I PASSED ECE. EHEHE SABI KO O EH ANO NGAYON, PUMASA NA KO HEHEH TO HELL WITH MINA MOUSE.

59. any regrets?
>> KULIT.

60. would you like your "future child" to attend your high school?
>> NOPE. HINDI KO SIYA ITOTORTURE. HEHE PERO KUNG GUSTO NIYA EH DI SIGE.

61. were the bathrooms clean?
>> AHAHAHAHA SIYEMPRE HINDI!

62. how were the lunch ladies?
>> OKAY LANG. NOTHING SPECIAL. MAS MEMORABLE PA NGA YUNG MGA TAGA-CS CANTEEN NGAYON EH.

63. lyrics that would best describe your high school life:
>> EWAN KO EHEHE WALA AKONG MAISIP LOLZ.

haha o ren ishii pa rin!

mood: dunno, i just got up (again)
song of the day: torpedo | eheads
current rave: team brazil

got this from gasolinejenn's bloggie:


Intelligent and precise, you tend to value name and
honor above all else. You have no problem with
revenge, but only when it's business.


Kill Bill Vol. One Character Quiz (females)
brought to you by Quizilla

new domain

my new domain is kilcher04.tk

mood: enthusiatic
song of the day: my immortal | evanescence
current rave: KoC! COTS! COTS! COTS! yuck rave daw ba ang thesis

wala lang ngayon 29k na ko sa KoC! yebah!

QueSci Stuff

QueSci Stuff

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag
ceremony?
>> dahil mabagal kaming bumaba mula sa room? hehe

2. Anong favorite mong bilhin sa canteen?
>> lucky me na no cook noodles hati kami ni toilette sa kanya sabaw, sa kin noodles. o di ba fair? hahaha

3. Na-guidance/principal's office ka na ba?
>> can't remember. good girl si ako eh hehe

4. Sinong favorite teacher mo doon?
>> Fine, si sir toledo na kunyari ehehe. ay meron pala, si Ma'am Digna Paningbatad, adviser namin sa Pilot 1-B nung first year hehe

5. Sinong HATEST teacher mo naman?
>> hilario. nuff said.

6. San ka usually tumatambay? Why?
>> sa may 2nd floor sa labas ng comp lab noon. sa ledge. mahilig ako sa mga ledge hehehe :D becq4(99) classroom! :D

7. What's ur most unforgettable experience sa
high school mo?
>> dami, hindi ko alam kung ano unahin ko. sobrang dami eh hehe. lahat ng mga kalokohan andallthatjazz.

8. clubs? varsity?
>> Science Club/Computer Club/Sports Club/Hi-Y/Basketball/Volleyball/Table Tennis

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa high school?
>> hindi ko na maalala talaga.siguro yung mga pilot-1-b peeps. aha, alam ko na, si dalupang nga siguro kasi sabay kaming nalipat from curie to p1b nung first year.

10. Sinong mga kabarkada mo nung nag-graduate
ka from HS? lahat ba sila'y nasa friendster
>> bloss,golds,mommy karen,tita rosa,jof,tiff,juliegulay,etc etc sencia na hindi ko nalagay yung iba bangag na kasi ako eh

11. Na-mimiss mo na ba yung uniform mo?
>> mejo, pag may nakikita akong nakasuot nun sisigaw ako ng "uy, scientian!"

12. Ilang beses mo nang nawawala ung ID mo?
>> unfortunately, i lost all of my IDs right after i graduated from high school. some stupid person decided to snatch my wallet eh. damn.

13. Favorite teacher's quotable quote?
>> "wag kayong mag-away, friendship is the best"-miss mejia

14. Most unforgettable person? Why?
>> dami dami. hindi na person. persons na.

15. Kelan sa tingin mo dadating ang yearbook?
>> tapos na. nakuha na dati pa.

16. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic.
>> para akong ewan. nuff said.

17. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
>> mcdo->i used to eat happy meals before i go to the service kasi addict ako sa kakacollect ng snoopy nun hehehe.

18. Nakakita ka na ba ng multo sa school?
>> wala naman pero malakas kami magtrip ng ghosthunting nung first year kasi sobrang tagal dumating ng service.

19. Nangarag ka ba sa updating/paghahabol sa
graduation?
>> hindi naman. yung pesteng impersonasyon sa pinoy lang.

20. Anung unang-una mong ginawa ryt after
graduation?
>> kumain. ay teka, siempre picture-picture muna ehehe.

21. Anong contests ang sinalihan/napanalunan
mo?
>> haha CATAI siguro. best in first aid. hahaha. who would've thought? lolz.

22. Kamusta naman ang Intrams?
>> intrams? as for the intersection okay naman. hehehe pag interzone na, bwiset tong si nikki at si beng pinagtulungan ako sa basketball. hehehe :D
23. How about yung JS Prom?
>> okay lang din naman. my batch's 3rd year prom was held in qc sports club.tas yung fourth year naman sa bahay ng alumni lolz. :D

24. Favorite Janitor/Janitress?
>> hindi ko maalala yung janitor na magaling magtable tennis. si mang jun ata yun. mabait pa. kalaro ko nga minsan yun eh.

25. Kung papalitan ang color ng uniform natin,
anong kulay? Baket?
>> ayos na yun. may aqua eh

26. Nasa friendster mo ba yung crush mo sa
HS mo dati? Eh yung kinagagalitan mo to the
nth level?
>> yef. lahat halos sila. lolz. what can i say? time lang katapat niyan hehe.eventually magiging friendster mo rin yung kinabubwisetan mo nung hs. :D

27. Did you ever regret going to ur HS?
>> dati nainis ako kasi parang mas free siguro ako kung sa iba ako nag-aral. now that i'm in college, sobrang hindi ako nagsisisi. :D

28. Kilala mo ba kung sino ang nag-post nito at
sino siya sa school?
>> si NIKKI, walking diary ko at teammate sa bball nung hs. siempre kilala ko yan no. alam ko pati deepest, darkest secrets niyan....(hehe opo, titigil na, titigil na hehe)

29. Sino sa mga ka-batch natin ang dapat
napasali sa STARSTRUCK
>> STARSTRUCK? si ELAI (Elaine Grace Balboa) siguro...kyla-kylahan ba naman at nina-ninahan eh. diva na ito. hehe

30. San ka na nag-aaral ngayon? Course?
>> up diliman.. bs ece

31. Sino ang favorite love team of dem all mo?
>> sir kulong and mam bongon! woohoo!

32. Anu-ano ang mga section mo?
>> pilotb,becq,avo,avo

33. Anong da best about your batch?
>> ewan ko hehehe. basta. magaling kami. period.

utopia!!!!

if you want something more complicated than kings of chaos, you might want to check this out:

utopia

it's all got to do with you having a province of some sort and you are under a kingdom and you get to train your people and build your buildings. hehehe maganda kasi may waiting time pa talaga parang realistic hahaha. :D o sige

utopia overview

a basta may pa lady-lady kilcher pa ko with the province of maitland holding hahaha asteeeeg!!! sana may shogunate hehehe

****

on to other stuff: i watched The Last Samurai last night sa piratang vcd ng kapatid ko. astig siya. although ayokong si tom cruise yung bida hehehe. wala lang. naiyak nga ako nung namatay si Katsumuto (Ken Watanabe). astig eh. samurai and the way and all that jazz. kaya naman pala naiyak si carabelles. i'm excited na to watch it sa big screen hehehe...



STORY

Captain Nathan Algren (TOM CRUISE) is a man adrift. The battles he once fought now seem distant and futile. Once he risked his life for honor and country, but, in the years since the Civil War, the world has changed. Pragmatism has replaced courage, self-interest has taken the place of sacrifice and honor is nowhere to be found - especially out West where his role in the Indian Campaigns ended in disillusionment and sorrow.

Somewhere on the unforgiving plains near the banks of the Washita River, Algren lost his soul.

A universe away, another soldier sees his way of life about to disintegrate. He is Katsumoto (KEN WATANABE), the last leader of an ancient line of warriors, the venerated Samurai, who dedicated their lives to serving emperor and country. Just as the modern way encroached upon the American West, cornering and condemning the Native American, it also engulfed traditional Japan. The telegraph lines and railroads that brought progress now threaten those values and codes by which the Samurai have lived and died for centuries.

But Katsumoto will not go without a fight.

The paths of these two warriors converge when the young Emperor of Japan, wooed by American interests who covet the growing Japanese market, hires Algren to train Japan's first modern, conscript army. But as the Emperor's advisors attempt to eradicate the Samurai in preparation for a more Westernized and trade-friendly government, Algren finds himself unexpectedly impressed and influenced by his encounters with the Samurai. Their powerful convictions remind him of the man he once was.

Thrust now into harsh and unfamiliar territory, with his life and perhaps more important, his soul, in the balance, the troubled American soldier finds himself at the center of a violent and epic struggle between two eras and two worlds, with only his sense of honor to guide him.

kings of chaos talk

**************
oi kung sino man ang may kaya, pakibalikan nga tong bwiset na to:

tavid

bwiset nag-iipon nga eh ninakaw pa bwiset.

**************

wala lang. KoC forever is eating my brains out. i now function as an automated robot that is checking her account every hour just to see that her gold isnt stolen. sheesh.

whaddah?!

o e ano ngayon, KoC pa rin!!! i wonder what's gonna be uso when we do our thesis. hehehe

o sige yan muna. Bukas ko na siguro maupdate yang mga links na yan ehehe :D tinatamad pa ko eh

**************

KoC Players:
if you're bored try this out:
tuberacer

kill bill

watched kill bill kanina. pakshet talaga. IT IS ONE BLOODY MOVIE. understatement pa nga lang yun. every second ata umuulan ng dugo. wawa naman si lucy liu napanot ng tuluyan, si sophie nawalan ng braso. kadiri. nasusuka na nga ako kanina, i swear.

hattori hanzo rocks. astig yung sword. the best. ayaw ko na ng GREEN DESTINY (Li Mu Bai's sword in Crouching Tiger). uma thurman is effective. tarantino is what can i say, well, absurdly good. maganda na oo. pero hindi dapat to pinapanood kapag ikaw ay hindi pa natutulog kasi nag-aral ka para sa isang nakakadrain na exam. hay. oh well.

go gogo! (what she lacks in age, she makes up for madness) katakot.

disturbed tuloy ako ngayon. di ako makatulog.bwiset na kill bill yan.

from nikki's blog

Last thingies...

Last Car Ride: ewan ko...absent si scratch eh

Last Cry: a few days ago

Last Smile: last night siguro nung inaasar ko nang sobra-sobra si mignon, or baka nung PE kahapon, can't remember

Last Library Book Checked Out: last summer pa, Microwave something by David Pozar. i don't usually go to the lib to borrow books eh.

Last Movie Seen: sa theater>>Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. sa VDC>>LoTR:RotK pa rin

Last Book Read: comic book>>BeerKuwatro, unfinished>>Silmarillion, finished>>Guy Gavriel Kay: Lions of Al-Rassan pa ata

Last Beverage Drank: Iced Tea kaninang breakfast sa CS Canteen

Last Food Consumed: Tapa something na nakalimutan kong kinakain ko pala. pakshet kasing 141 yan bigla akong napasolve eh tas magtatime na nakalimutan kong may nakatiwangwang na tapa sa harap ko haha

Last Crush: :)

Last Phone Call: last night, lowla called

Last TV Show Watched: can't really remember hehe

Last Time Showered: This morning, sa shower ng fourth floor sa eee

Last Shoes Worn: shox nung PE (tsinelas na lang muna ko ngayon)

Last CD Played: Lolo Lau's Eheads Compilation

Last Item Bought: ECE113 Stuff (My resources are severely depleted demmit)

Last Downloaded: can't remember kung sinong huli, kung google pop-up blocker or smart rf software or course notes sa ece141

Last Disappointment: while i was taking the ece141 exam. man, if i gave more time, i couldve easily breezed through the questions pero since tamad ako at mahilig magcram, najumble jumble na lahat.

Last Key Used: House Keys

Last Phrase Spoken: "mamaya na ako uuwi"

Last Sleep: kanina sa likod ng server nakalatag ang aking brown kutson with brown unan and my purple little unan and siempre ang aking favorite pink kumot.

Last Ice cream Eaten: ay, tagal ko nang di kumakain ng ice cream. cant remember na kung ano yun. basta i'm sure it wasnt ube.

Last Time Amused: kanina when caloy was impersonating lea's mom (hahahaha!)

Last Time Wanted To Die: third year college ata

Last Time In Love: WAHAHAHAHA!

Last Time Hugged: sometime last week siguro

Last Time Kissed: dunno hehehe

Last Time Held Hands: last week din siguro.

Last Webpage Visited: Kings of Chaos!!!!

Last Song Listened To: something by the eheads kaninang madaling araw di ko na maalala

Last Time Stressed: minutes ago, habang nag-eexam

Last Time REALLY Happy: ek trip

Last Time Excited: right before the ek trip

Last Time Confused: kanina di ko alam kung ang M ba ng 64-QAM ay 64 o 8. buti na lang i used 8.mas logical naman ata yun

Last Time Worried: kanina, feeling ko di ako papasa. right now i couldnt care less

Last Time Late For Class: nitong past week hehehe



haaay....nakakapagod. gusto ko na manood ng kill bill. haay...

the dreaded test in ece 141 is finally over and whew, i can enjoy for the meantime na hindi pa kelangang-kelangang ipasa yung ece 131 die...at least hindi naman ata ako mazezero. sana pumasa ako. pakshesh. sana lang

i vow to study next time and ask doc m some questions na hehehe

aaaaah ang tanga ko!!!! pakshet talaga nabura ko yung buong layout ko peste!

sa mga links na nakalink dati sa kin, pakisend na lang ulit. pakshet

for the past couple of days ive been so messed i don't think i know myself anymore. all of a sudden, i want to grow up and get of this immature pathetic self that i'm in. hindi naman ako ganto dati. i never wanted to grow pa nga eh. but then again, some incidents siguro nangyayari na ang purpose nila sa buhay mo is to bonk you in the head...para magising ka sa katotohanan ika nga. pero oh well, might be another one of my crazy episodes.

pero come to think of it, do i really wanna grow up? i have this huge fear of having responsibilities eh pero di ba, if i won't grow up now, kelan pa? pag anjan na yung mga problema? haay, sana bata na lang ako forever.

pero hindi nga kasi pwede yun eh.

so yun.

quotes quotes quotes

mood: tired bloody tired of ece 141
song of the day: cats in the cradle
current rave: wala. auntie anne's siguro. yum!

Sadness

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean. Tears from the depth of some divine despair Rise in the heart and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy autumn-fields, And thinking of the days that are no more.

- Alfred Lord Tennyson


Do you seriously think that blood is the only thing in this world that is colored red?

- Genjo Sanzo, Gensomaden Saiyuki


... this is how to bully a man; this is a how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man, and if that doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up; this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quickly so that it doesn't fall on you...

- Jamaica Kincaid, "Girl"


Depression, when it’s clinical, is not a metaphor. It runs in families, and it’s known to respond to medication and to counseling. However truly you believe there’s a sickness to existence that can never be cured, if you’re depressed you will sooner or later surrender and say: I just don’t want to feel bad anymore. The shift from depressive realism to tragic realism, from being immobilized by darkness to being sustained by it, thus strangely seems to require believing in the possibility of a cure…

- Jonathan Franzen


Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.

- Oscar Wilde


Sometimes to realize you were well, someone must come along and hurt you.

- Perry Farrell


In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come - not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, one knows that it is only temporary; more pain will follow. It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul. So the decision-making of daily life involves not, as in normal affairs, shifting from one annoying situation to another less annoying - or from discomfort to relative comfort, or from boredom to activity - but moving from pain to pain. One does not abandon, even briefly, one's bed of nails, but is attached to it wherever one goes.

- William Styron, "Darkness Visible"


o di ba, sadness ang edition natin ngayon. jake came by my room to show his samurai costume for his friend's costume party sa saberday. astig talaga tong batang to. he can create such things from mundane rubber sheets. astig! :D hehehe o sige

mood: feeling masipag
song of the day:i alone (live)
current rave: hehe lecheng thesis yan

i'm here messing up with mignon's laptop hahahaha wala lang. nakakahilo ang smith chart. nakakahilo ang user manual ng cc2400. nakakahilo ang proakis. nakakahilo ang ece 141. nakakahilo na lahat. haaay...

oh well...

KoC na lang ulit. jakey made me register him last night hahaha sobrang may tuturuan na naman ako. kasi naman daw may nakita daw kasi siya sa shopping center na naglalaro ng KoC habang nagpapaprint siya hehehe ayun. so yun.

next time na ang mga madramang posts. wala ako sa mood. so far tinatry ko pa ring magpumilit mag-acad mode hehehe

i don't have anything to post today kasi sobrang lubog na lubog na ko ang dami daming gagawin bwiset.

writings from the past

article 1:

Hanging from a Cliff Ten Thousand Feet High
27 August 2001

Moulin Rouge said, "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return…"

Sheez.

If love is such wonderful thing, why does it bring so much heartache? Why does it cause so much pain? Why does it have to be this way?

If loving someone is the greatest thing I'll have to learn, why do I not like it even a teeny-weeny bit?

Three years have passed and I'm still here, wallowing. I'm still here, in front of my computer, typing all these emotions and wiping all these tears away. I'm still here, with all the emptiness and hollowness inside me. All these years have passed and I haven't yet moved on.

I had really inducted myself into the halls of the permanently pathetic, hadn't I?

I've had received lectures about moving on and letting go. I know it's cliché but it's really easier said than done. I don't know what keeps me holding on when I know that nothing will ever happen anymore. I don't know why I keep on waiting for him when he seems to have no intentions in going back to me. He doesn't give my any signs that I should still be hanging on to whatever there is to come. At the back of my mind, there's this little thing that tells me that there is no more to hope for.

I get it, alright? Somehow, I can fathom that things sometimes don't have clarity…on purpose or not. Somehow I do understand that there are guys who like to leave me out in the dark. And yet, somehow I know when I should stop being stupid.

Yes, I know. But I just cannot let the feeling go. I can't get up that cliff I'm hanging from.

For heaven's sake, it's been three years since he said that he would start over from the beginning. It's been a long time since he told me that maybe he should have started from being friends with me then moving on to the next step. It's been ages since he told me he loved me and when I was about to tell him that too, he couldn't care anymore.

And now, where is that "beginning" he so wanted to start? Where is that love he so clearly declared? Where are those metaphors he told me when he was trying to win me? Where are those eyes that gazed upon mine during lazy afternoons? Gone, gone, gone…

But still I can't accept the whole thing.

Was it because I realized way too late that I liked him too? Was it because I had freaked out and turned stone cold when he told me those three little words? Couldn't he understand that I am a little slow in the emotional department? Couldn't he understand that I am still immature? Couldn't he understand that it requires much effort from me just to say those three stupid words? Couldn't he understand he'd have to wait for a month just to hear those same three words coming from my mouth?

I have had so much pain seeing him drifting away as time passed by. I have cried in helplessness through all those nights. I even cried every night the whole summer before my senior year. God, why this has to be so damn painful? Why does it have to hurt like this?

For all those years I tried to forget all about it, the whole thing just added up, and it still adds up till now. I thought I had gotten over the guy, but boy, was I wrong. It has gotten into full-scale that I cannot go on and enjoy my life with other people. My interpersonal skills had dwindled down because of my fear of getting attached again. It's really agonizing to harbor feelings for somebody that you refute, and much more horrible and agonizing to realize those feelings way too late. I have indulged in this dilemma so much that I developed some phobia towards guys. In as much as I would like to turn back time so that I could say the things I had concealed, things aren't going back to the way they were. It is hard forgetting about this certain chapter in my life. It is so painful that I fear meeting the same fate again.

I guess it's true that the more I fear something, the more it troubles me. In anticipation of it, I vehemently close out on possible associations with creatures called guys for quite some time. I have tried building a wall around me, some kind of a barrier to keep out possible intruders who would just leave me hanging in the end. The possibility of having my heart ripped out of my chest again isn't so tempting anymore. Yet, the regrets never left my mind; as a matter of fact, they never let me sleep well. They even follow me in my dreams.

Once I lose something, I become scared of losing another thing again. I hide in my shell thinking that it would help me find that thing back, that it would restore everything back to the way it was. Maybe it can, for a fleeting moment. But I linger in the dark and live in fear. No matter what I do behind my barriers and my walls, it never can make me happy.

Wait a minute. Why the heck am I lamenting upon a guy who never had the guts to tell a girl he doesn't want to go on anymore? He could have save a lot of time, and effort, and tears…and heartache. He is useless. He is pathetic. He is stupid.

But no matter what I tell myself about his lack of clarity, I will not be able to move on if I don't act upon it myself. I mean, everything really depends on me, right? I've been telling myself, no, pushing myself to get over this puny little stupid thing and move on with my life. But I just can't. I guess something been really holding me back. Maybe it's that fact that nothing is resolved still up to this moment.

Come to think of it, I haven't really said everything I wanted to say to him. And he haven't really told me the reason why he suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere and left me hanging from a cliff ten thousand feet high. And I guess those are just some of the things I need to close this chapter. I need to tell him that he was so cruel and mean when he halted just like that. I need to tell him of all the horrors I had to go through because of him. I need to tell him of all the identity crises I went through during my depression. I need to tell him about all those nights I should have spent doing productive things if he hadn't broken my heart. I know I shouldn't let regrets and hatred eat up my self-worth because it will only lead me to a life of pain and torture, which can indeed drive anyone, especially me, crazy.

But I don't have the courage to do that just yet. I don't think it's time yet. Every time I see him, I feel great remorse and hatred at the same time. Regrets because I should have told him earlier about my feelings and loathing because he hadn't given much time to make my decision. And if this is what I feel, I cannot face him yet.

Facing him is the hardest part of it all. But what I can do is to put in my mind that life is all about pain and frustration with a little smudge of bliss scattered somewhere. Many things are yet to come and wreck havoc in my existence. But one thing is for sure; a reason exists for everything that's been happening to me. That reason may not be too easy to understand and accept, but whatever that may be, I just have to believe that this thing happened to make me stronger. Somehow, situations like this post a turning point in one's life. It's a matter of one's decisive skills whether he or she will remain hanging and waiting for someone who isn't coming anymore. Will I decide to climb up and walk towards safety? Will I decide to keep on holding on to that part of the cliff?

I know that all I have to do is decide if I should remain hanging or not. I know that I should just clear things up and I can move on with my life. I guess I'll just have to wait till I'm ready. And when that time comes, I'll be glad everything happened and I'll be thankful for all the things I had learned. I'll just pray that that time comes before I lose my grip and fall ten thousand feet high.



In memory of the soon to be buried Cliff Hanger
27 August 2001
TaL

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I'm glad everything happened and I'm thankful for all the things I had learned. I guess after more than two more years since this article was written, things have already changed and I myself was surprised as to how I managed to lift myself up and walked towards flat land.

internet-less nights

hay naku walang internet sa bahay ngayon courtesy of that demon of a brother. peste. have to play KoC pa tuloy sa school. oh well...sige

check this out!

counter is alive

yehey! may counter na ko!!! yebah!

wala lang

wala lang. as in wala lang talaga. peste walang umiinit na soldering iron. peste peste.hay. wala lang.

mood: feeling sick and feeling useless
song of the day: white flag (pakshet ang kulit ni jake!)
current rave: Silmarillion

book: jeyel's (i mean, jrr tolkien's) silmarillion

changed the layout of the bloggie just this afternoon. nagloloko kasi tummy ko. grabe naman kasi kung ano kinakain ko sana nga tumaba na ko di ba? :D ahehe

anyway...on to more productive things in life...ergo, maglaro ng kings of chaos hehehe :D

saka na ulit. wala pa akong sense ngayon eh.

got this test from a link in missyosigirl's blog

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --